Skin
26 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
in 50 Words, most days, Parenting, Scheduled Posts
Our skin is our largest organ. It separates us from the rest of the world. It protects us. When we grow our babies inside us mothers’ bodies are an extra layer of protection before our kids even have skin. Once they are out in the world our instincts kick in and our actions provide an extra skin. When we fuss over what our babies and toddlers are exposed to we provide a layer of protection from chlorine in the pool, chemicals in the wipes, irritants in the laundry detergent, alcohol in our milk, unnecessary antibiotics etc. As they grow up we loosen up (well, I have anyway), but still we edit what they exposed to by avoiding certain movies, turning off scary images on the news, choosing their caregivers and school and continuing to protect them with mandatory sun hats and snow gear and reminders and supervision.
The skin of protection we provide for our kids sluffs off bit by bit over the years. Sometimes it happens subconsciously, sometimes accidentally, and other times very deliberately. It might be loosened up as they earn trust, and are allowed to take the trash out or get the mail alone. Or a sudden interest in the world around them that leads to deep thinking about snippets of news like “9 militants killed by a bomb in Afghanistan” might tear a piece off. Or on a bad day we might unintentionally pierce it with a sharp word or a misunderstanding. They feel things deeply, because they haven’t replaced that skin with the filters and emotional callouses that allow us as adults to hear horrific things on the news and move right along with our days. We can’t protect them forever, but we can guide them through the pain of understanding that even when things seem fine in our suburban bubbles there are wars in other parts of the world, there is poverty around the corner, there are bad people out there that look just like good people, and that even the good people sometimes make mistakes. I believe our goal should be to teach them to cope with it, but still feel it enough to care about making it all a little bit better.
